Am I FIT?

I’ve been slowly working on finishing my degree. I only started it 18 years ago. In Michigan. Not all of my credits transferred to this school out here. So, last spring I found myself taking Health 100. I took it online. It was bad enough that I was going to be taught how to put on a condom. I didn’t want to do it in the presence of a bunch of 18 year olds.

I had to answer an essay question for each section of the book. Things like, “How will college life affect your psycho-social health?” It was difficult to answer these questions because my fingers totally itched to pour on the sarcasm. Since beer-bongs, frat parties and wet t-shirt contests are not things in which I get invited am interested, I had to answer with much BS finesse.

Towards the end of the class, I could take it no more. I was getting a solid ‘A’ in the class, so I thought I would put caution to the wind and let my true thoughts hang out. I found myself staring at a screen with these words staring back at me:

Assignment: Discuss your movement patterns in terms of the FIT principle. Do you think your movement pattern is adequate for fitness improvement or maintenance? Explain your answer.

The answer was supposed to include an understanding of FIT; (F)requency, (I)ntensity, and (T)ime/duration. I believe I demonstrated my complete understanding in this answer.

My movement patterns mainly consist of chasing kids and running errands. I know I really need to exercise regularly, but I have yet to find anything that I like enough to stick to. In terms of the FIT principle, I can only chuckle.

As far as frequency of vigorous exercise is concerned, I range somewhere between “sporadic” and “consistently infrequent.” Then there’s intensity. My heart rate goes up just thinking about it. I mean to do more, but I understand that the road to health is paved with more than good intense-tions. The “T” is for duration. We spent a really, really long time walking around the zoo Saturday. . .

I think my movement pattern is adequate for maintaining a lack of improvement. However, I am considering thinking about contemplating joining the gym that my friend goes to. Yeah, wish me luck.

Was my humor appreciated? Well, I laughed right out loud. I scored 18/20. I was marked down for addressing the audience in an essay. I still wonder if the instructor understood that I meant to be informal.