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The day after I got married, Mr. audibly passed gas, then stomped his foot and blamed it on “those stinkin’ spiders.” I was absolutely mortified! To me, breaking wind was the most embarrassing thing possible. I couldn’t even say the “F” word. I’m not kidding. I could not say fart. If someone else did, I would blush and fidget, obviously embarrassed. It was even pretty awkward for me to spell it out just now.
I have a theory as to why this bodily function embarrassed me so, but I’ll save it for my therapist. My point here, is how I got passed it. One word; marriage. Apparently, in my husband’s home growing up, flatulence was a big joke. Even his sisters would let them rip at will and laugh. (I’m still appalled by this). After I said, “I do,” I became family. To Mr., this is fart part of being family.
This caused some points of contention in our marriage. He couldn’t understand why I was so uptight and I couldn’t believe how ill-mannered he was. Until I got pregnant. Certain types of foods, namely broccoli, caused uncontrollable noxious fumes to escape from my body. I could do nothing about it. Mr. would just make funny faces or jokes and then open a window. For the first time, I appreciated his casual acceptance of what had been practically a phobia for me.
To my horror, my sweet, beautiful girls think gas-passing is hilarious. I’m being careful to not scar them, as I apparently was, but to also teach them some manners. It’s really a fine line. Sometimes I laugh along, but not at the dinner table. Please, not at the dinner table!
We don’t often use the “F” word. We call it “tooting.” That’s a term that I can live with.
Photo by Joshua Targownik
Filed under: Figuring Me Out, Made Me Laugh, Mawedge (Marriage)
Same story here! My daughter thinks letting a little poot is the height of humor. And, she certainly didn’t learn that from me!
I’m totally with ya on the word tooting.
Potty humor is something all kids like and love and think is hilarious, and it may even last into the teenage years too. Thoughts of my step son come to mind…
We call it tooting too. And it’s too cute when W.W. suddenly does it, turns and smiles with that slightly embarrassed looks and goes “I tooted!”
Horses and parades, some like them and some don’t. There’s so much movement and noise that if you’ve got a skiddish horse I really don’t recommend it. Broke to death is often a good phrase to think of when it comes to horses and parades.
My step daughter rode JoJo and it was her first parade. Other than a little nervousness at the start and a lot of loped circles to calm down she was fine once everything got moving. It’s the sign of a good horse if they don’t act stupid when there’s banners flying around, paint all of them, and weird looking head gear to boot!
I do not like that f-word, but we use it, sometimes, delicately. Because there are these kids books, called Walter the farting Dog, and they are just too funny. But what is really funny is when my husband has to read them to the boys…he can hardly read he is laughing so much.
Living in a houseful of boys ( 3 small, 1 big ) I am used to this.
My husband like to call the “f” word – “stinky noise”. My oldest son is quite prolific. He can fart on demand and when he is nervous. My boys are very silly and find this funny. Me, not so much!
Totally there with you girl. I was taught by my mom that you always get to the restroom first. My dad would crack up. Balance is everything.
I have always hated that word myself. Though I do like the word, “flatulence” slightly better. It’s just awkward to say everytime. I mean, “I flatulated” sounds infinitely worse than the alternative.
My husband thinks fart humor is the funniest thing in the world. I don’t get it. He was actually eagerly awaiting the first time he would hear our son toot one out. Seriously! I think there is something wired wrong in men’s heads when it comes to that kind of humor.
My husband and I are the reverse! I could say the “F” word all day and not bat an eyelash, my husband, however, grew up quite properly and can only say that he or anyone else has passed gas. Now here is the question do you say you pooped or you made a BM? Guess who is who in our house.
I love this post! Very funny! We are kind of “noisy” in our house, but only when we are with each other. This reminds me of a funny post I’ve been meaning to write; thanks for the reminder…